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Wellness

Filtering by Tag: wellbeing

Reach any Goal by Daydreaming with Purpose

Lisa Eberly

Hello hellooo...

Where have I been? Well...in the past month or so I have gotten engaged to the man of my dreams, found my dream home, purchase my dream home, and have generally been reaching my goals in life across the board -- at work and personally. I am living my dream life. So, I figured this was an apt time to explain an important piece of how I got here, but more importantly, how you can too. Did you always say you wanted to be an engaged homeowner with the perfect job for you in your mid 20s? Did you want to travel the world but never did? Maybe you still want to do these things...but you're just not sure how? 

A particular pet peeve of mine is those who have goals but don't do anything in their day to reach them. This can be caused by a number of things, but can arise when our goals are too far away from our present, making that first step in the right direction unclear. 

For instance, I have several friends who cannot wait to find the right person for them and settle down, but don't go on first dates. Another example is someone who has always daydreamed about writing a book, but hasn't written one page. Or maybe you want to be a leader, but you've never spoken up at work. Where you want to be and where you are may be quite far apart -- and that is 100% OKAY. The real question is: what can you do today to move you one baby step closer to your dream life. 

I wanted to meet the man of my dreams --> I went on dates, met new people all the time, and put myself out there openly to find him.

I wanted my dream job --> I got a masters and hustled my way into my field and connected with dietitians left and right so that an amazing start up could find me. 

I wanted to own a home --> I downloaded Redfin and started looking. 

These big dreams all started with a tiny step: a date, a LinkedIn account, the Redfin app. 

Dreams can be big or small, but they always start with one baby step in the right direction. Want to travel the world? Save a few bucks a day. Want to nail that dream job? Reach out to an employee on LinkedIn. 

Maybe you're not even 100% sure what your dream life looks like. 

My very good friend Sondra is a goal reaching expert and I invited her to Nourish to explain the beautiful art of daydreaming with purpose, something she taught me how to do that has served me well. This visualization of your dreams is basically a mash up between meditation and goal setting -- and it works. All in only a few minutes out of your day or week. 

See Sondra demonstrate visualization and read her description of its benefits below! 

_________________

Traditional goal setting can be a daunting task. There's a lot that I want to accomplish in my life so when I make a list of personal and professional goals, it can leave me feeling overwhelmed. How the heck am I supposed to get from where I am now, a 27 year old with a 2 year old business, to a millionaire living on a yacht? 


It's a natural reaction to limit our goals with traditional goal setting. Let's say I'm only making $35,000 per year right now but I really wish I were making $100,000. That $65,000 jump can feel out of reach so maybe I'll "reason" with myself and say well, I'd be okay with just making $60,000 next year. . .


I've also found that traditional goal setting is a trap for creativity. It's easy to fall into socially prescribed goals like: I want to be married, have babies, make money, have a house. Maybe these really are your goals but they're also really broad. It's important to be specific about the things you want to accomplish.


Power Up is a new way to set goals that helps you tap into what it is you truly want for yourself. It takes you out of the mindset of "this is waiting for me in the future" and puts you in a place of experiencing that point in your life, even if only for a moment.


The exercise is simple. You can set a timer or just let yourself run free. I usually do it for 3 to 8 minutes at a time. Start by taking a deep breath. If your mind is feeling chatty, take a few more breaths, enough to get to a point where you feel a bit settled. Close your eyes, if you like. Now, begin to say out loud your vision of a really happy life. Describe what time of day it is. Are you inside or outside? What does the space look like? Who is there with you? How old are you? What are you doing? Dive into as much detail as you wish, always describing it in the present tense.


As you melt into this world, notice how your body feels. Are you smiling? Are you relaxed? Excited? Pay attention to these small signals as you continue to dive even deeper into the tiny details of this vision. When you're done, take another deep breath and open your eyes.
How do you feel? If you have a writing utensil nearby, jot down the emotions you notice. I also suggest picking one thing you can do that day or that week that brings you one step closer to this reality.


I've been practicing this exercise for about a year now. In that time, I've envisioned and manifested my true internal desires. For instance, I painted a clear vision in my mind of what perfect office space would be like. I saw it having a water view, being within walking distance to fun cafes and shops, having space for the events that I host and within a price point that I feel comfortable paying. Within a few months, I hopped on Craigslist and found my dream office space in Fremont. I knew it was my dream space because I had already envisioned it.

When you have a clear vision of what you're hoping to accomplish and you finally reach that point, it's silly how fulfilling it is. Without that preconceived vision, the accomplishment isn't as sweet or may just pass you by. 


What I love about this exercise is the sky is the limit. It's daydreaming with purpose. Allow this to be the time in your day when you release whatever limitations you're used to putting on yourself. Let your creativity run wild. Go in the direction that feels right to you, it's unmistakable. Repeat this exercise every day, every week, or at any interval that you feel will serve you best. It's okay if your vision changes each time, it's your heart's way of figuring out what it is you actually do want for yourself in this life. Just notice the patterns and you'll start to find your true path.

-Sondra

The next PowerUp event is in Seattle on Tuesday, April 26th! 
 

The Books Every Girl Needs

Lisa Eberly

books-coffee

It's October. Which in Seattle translates to: time to stay in every night and curl up on the couch with a good book and hot chocolate. Or, if it's morning (which can be confusing here, as in the fall/winter there's no sunrise or set, just gray rise and gray set), a good book and coffee.

So I am a big reader. I love reading. There's something so romantic and special about growing or learning from looking at an amalgamation of someone else's thoughts and stories. I mean, yea, you can get that from reading a textbook or a blog or reading anything, really, but there's just something about reading a book that gets me. I seriously still can look at a book, just look at it, and my mind is blown by how much life/adventure/truth/depth is inside that small space comprised of just paper and ink.

Now that I've creeped you out with the extent of how dorky I am, moving on.

I read really different books. Novels, biographies, lifestyle/nutrition, funny, serious, the list goes on. I've recently read a lot of great books and decided to put together a list of the books I think every successful, driven, and downright awesome woman should read. They are either about success, anthropology, love, or life in general. Many are even fictional stories. These books will drive your passions, inspire you, and lead you toward success in all aspects, whether directly or indirectly, many of them accidentally. Well, at least they have for me.

Enjoy!

(PS - you can click the photo of any book to see more about it!)

What books are you reading? Share!

How to Mend a Broken Heart: the healthy way

Lisa Eberly

breakup-couple

The heart is a funny muscle. It's incredibly powerful, most definitely the strongest muscle in your body, yet can be easily broken, with some really sucky side effects. Did you know you can not only feel physical pain from a broken heart, but even have a real heart attack from one? Yikes. I'll skip that ride, thanks.

I'll admit, I'm a bit of a romantic. So, in my life I've been in love, been out of love, been crazy in love, and been hurt by love. Everything is about perspective, and if you are unlucky enough to have been hurt by love it really just means that you were lucky enough to be in love in the first place.

That's not really enough to make you feel better about it though. I've received a lot of emails about love and how to stay healthy when going through a break up, not letting it get the best of you and staying on your game through the process. So, I'm going to share how to handle a break up the right way -- by learning from not only my mistakes, but the ones society deems 'norm.'

Break ups seriously stink. They confuse you in all sorts of ways and make you feel a disconnect with not only your best friend (since your significant other really should be your best friend), but more importantly, yourself. Luckily, they happen in stages, and each stage can really make you better off -- if handled healthfully, that is. I've been through one heartbreaking break up, and this is what I learned. 

The 'OMG WTF JUST HAPPENED' Stage

What I wanted to do: Bawl like a baby in yoga pants eating all the carbs and chocolate I can get my hands on, curled up in a ball watching anything and everything with Ryan Gosling telling a girl he loves her.

What I actually did: Bawled like a baby in yoga pants eating bread dipped in chocolate pudding (yep, you heard me), curled up in a ball watching The Bachelor.

Right after a breakup, at least in my opinion, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with letting it hit you in a horribly cliche, chocolate-filled manner. As long as this phase doesn't last more than 24 hours, there's nothing unhealthy about it. You need to cry. You need to carbo load. You need to get it all out there. Hit the bottom of how sad you're going to let yourself be, even if it's at the bottom of a tissue box.

The Pushing Forward Phase

What I wanted to do: Pull the covers over my head. Not eat anything. Whine/vent/cry about him to every one of my friends and family members until they start ignoring my calls. Not study or write, but just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling thinking 'OMG what if that was it and I'm never going to be okay again?!' Spend all day on their Facebook/Twitter/Insta/etc. Basically, dwell.

What I actually did: I chose two people (my sister and best friend Meagan) to share my feelings with. I didn't whine, I shared. I know they have my back no matter what and would be there for me to push me forward, not keep me dwelling in the past. I forced myself to go to every class (even the one less than 12 hours after!), and keep up with writing daily. I hustled and tried to focus on working and new projects to get excited about. I just put my head down and made moves. I also filled up on healthy fats and protein so that even if food wasn't on my mind, I was getting all the important nutrients I needed (that can't be found in chocolate pudding). I cut out all social media relationships (to the best of my abilities...man SM can really make modern break ups a bummer!). I let myself be sad, but limited it. I told myself, 'You can only be sad in the shower, but once it's over, you're done being sad for today.' I know the shower is weird, but it's a solid 10-15 minutes which is a good time to limit yourself to.

The 'Oh wait, I'm actually totally better off' Phase

What I wanted to do: Think about all the good times and sort of shield out all the negatives/reasons I broke up with him in the first place.

What I actually did: Any time I thought of a good thing about him or our relationship, I thought of a bad one. I focused on the reasons I broke up with him and realized that it really was for the best. By doing this, you can focus on yourself, your future, and what you want out of a relationship, not what has just become comfortable to you. You'll realize that they really weren't the best fit for you, and that you're going to not only be okay without them, but you're going to be fucking amazing.

The Actually Being Okay Phase

What I wanted to do: I'm sure some of you can relate to the feeling of wanting that closure. That nail in the coffin. Maybe an email? A phone call? Coffee? Something -- anything -- to share with them that you're okay. In my case I had two emails written: one saying a general 'hey thanks for all the good times, we're really better off, best of luck...' and the other beginning with a nice 'F you. I can't believe I wasted my time...'

What I actually did: Deleted the emails. Some things are better left unsaid. And you know what? If you really are great (which I am sure all you healthy, amazing babes will be), you have no need or reason to share it with them. It's your life now, and only yours. I'm a firm believer in unconditional love, so even if I'm not in love anymore, I'll always care deeply about and appreciate that person, as they were an integral part of making me who I am today (and actually a very big motivator for this brand and my writing!). However, they have no place in my life anymore, so there's nothing to do but close the book and start a new one.

Now, years later, I am incredibly happy and healthy. As are they, and we are healthy and happily friends. 

I truly hope this helps you get through a tough time, and I can assure you that no matter what phase you're in, or no matter how hard it is, you will be 100% okay sooner than you think. It totally, totally sucks to be there, but it doesn't last forever. You're not going to be fine, you're going to be friggin' fantastic. Better than ever.